What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

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What are my choices?

he asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

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How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What do you call two doctors with colds?

An ironic paradox.

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How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.

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What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

TB

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How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

Who's there ! Chair ! Chair who?

Chair you go again asking more questions !