What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!"

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser?

Because he missed a split-end on a curl.

What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?

I miss you.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

Why was Pluto's child unexpected?

Because it didn't plan it.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Where does Kylie buy her kebabs?

From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)

Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.

Asteroid Jokes More Asteroid Jokes

Why are asteroids so strong when they hit the planet?

Because they take a steroid.

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors. (sorry)