What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

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What happens when you step on an oily asian?

Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope.

Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk?

Because their wives are driving.

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What repulsive awful thing can be found in a black persons clothes?

The black person.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

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What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

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What do you get hanging from Apple trees?

Sore arms.

How do you know if someone's an expert archer?

Put an apple on your head &amp stand still he'll Tell you.

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What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle?

You're about to meet da-feet!

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

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Why was Sir Isaac Newton buried at Westminster Abbey?

Because he was dead.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.