What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a transgender from a real woman?

The quality of the sandwich.

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why does no one trust victoria ?

Because victoria has secrets .

Why can't you keep a secret in a cornfield?

There's too many ears

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What do you call a clown that gives you flowers?

A Romantic Jester!

Beg Jokes More Beg Jokes

What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.

What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.