What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee?

Nothing neither one has been working since Tuesday...

How does the Addidas executive work through the night?

Three lines

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

God Jokes More God Jokes

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!! XD

Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

Lightning Jokes More Lightning Jokes

Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?

Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance

Why type of lightning likes to play sports?

Ball lightning