Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do Luke Bryant and a Nordic breast plate have on common?

They're on Thor.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

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How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl."

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

Seek Jokes More Seek Jokes

Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains?

Mountains peak.

Why couldn't the leopard play Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

A: Because he was always spotted.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

What do you call it when you can't decide between a natural birth and the hospital?

A midwife crisis.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

Why do terrorist use Nokia phones?

so they can reuse the phone after the explosion

Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

What's the difference between Audi drivers and a cactus?

Audi drivers have pricks on the inside

What's the difference between a BMW and a cactus?

on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside

Clothing Jokes More Clothing Jokes

What type of clothing does a House wear?

Address.

What article of clothing is round and rubbery?

Attire.

Norse God Jokes More Norse God Jokes

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday?

With a low-key event

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

Where is the best place to find Eskimo Lesbians?

At the Klondike Bar.