Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do Luke Bryant and a Nordic breast plate have on common?

They're on Thor.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

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How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl."

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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What's Thor's favourite piece of clothing?

Thunderpants

What do you find in a cloud's shorts?

Thunderpants!

Birthday Party Jokes More Birthday Party Jokes

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?

Coop-cakes !

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

Seek Jokes More Seek Jokes

Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005?

Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet.

What is a bee's favorite game?

Hive and seek

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the biggest difference between Intel and AMD?

How they process things.

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What do you call a communist hip-hop musician?

MC Hammer and Sickle.

What's grey and bad for your teeth?

A hammer.

Asgard Jokes More Asgard Jokes

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What did the judge order in his whiskey?

Just ice

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any