What did the man say after his wife was dragged off the beach by a seal?

Welp, seal ate her.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What makes a grown man cry?

Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do your pants fit?

The man responded, "Like a glove".

What do you call a man with no hands and a book?

A read-only man.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Why don't women like drinking beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their schlitz.

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?

A: Down in the mouth!

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)

Why did the seal make a Tinder account?

To find a Significant Otter.

Drag Jokes More Drag Jokes

What do you do with a no-legged greyhound?

Take it drag racing

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.