What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

A: Depressed.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

Why was the schwa bad at giving speeches?

He said "uhh" way too much.

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears