What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa?

Because there's too many cheetahs!

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends?

Hang at home.

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea