Casino Jokes

How are women like casinos?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

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Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa?

Because there's too many cheetahs!

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.

What did the nun wear to the casino?

Her gambling habit.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Why do lambs go to casinos?

They love to gambol.

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

What is the name of that casino on the beach?

Pair-a-dice.

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Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

Why are there so few casinos in Africa?

Too many cheetahs

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

How can you always break even at the casino?

Play the change machines.

Why did the pig go to the casino ?

To play the slop machine !

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

He was caught counting carbs.

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?"

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.

Teenage Girl Jokes More Teenage Girl Jokes

Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common?

They both work on crowded platforms.

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Lamb Jokes More Lamb Jokes

What does a Lamb say after the Chinese New Year celebration?

Baaaah bye!

What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose?

A radical mooselamb

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What did the drunk say when his boss enquired about his availability?

Yeah, I'm av**ale**able.

Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off?

Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

What are all sports in Africa called?

The hunger games

Why is Pokemon quite realistic?

Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?

Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

What do corals get stressed about?

Current events.

Why was the mathematician stressed out?

He was in a dilemma.