Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where do homeless accountants live?

In a tax shelter. Blame GROCO PCA

What lives in apples and is an avid reader?

A bookworm !

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get?

A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)