Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

What is a baby's dream job?

Working at a winery.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why don't fairies live under toadstools?

Because there's not mushroom!

Where do singing seahorses live?

In a choral coral corral

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution?

Something you do for the first week of the new year.

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.