What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton?

A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.

What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?

One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole?

Because Donald ducked.

What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor?

You stop laughing and shoot him again.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What is the proper weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds .......not counting the urn!

What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common?

Absolutely nothing.

Complain Jokes More Complain Jokes

Why did the coach prohibit the blonde from giving any bj's to the team?

The guys complained about the blow-dryer being too hot ...

What did the community do when there was an injustice involving law enforcement?

Black people took to the streets. White people took it to Reddit and complained about how nobody is doing anything about it.

Greasy Jokes More Greasy Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

Why do Greeks like fried foods?

Because they're greasy