What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

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What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

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Where are the humans?

We left them" AL: Why "They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"

What do selfies make me want to do?

Shoot myself

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What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves