Self Jokes

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

How do you know Sia is Scottish?

Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out

How did the cavemen in the far east protect them selves?

They Rocked their doors.

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How does a ghost defend its self?

Kung Boo

What'd the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved.... I'll show my self out

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter?

In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)

Why did the priest dislike geometry?

It's sin-ful. self made joke

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call it when an inmate takes a picture of their-self?

A Cellfie

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

How does a Mathematician hang them selves?

With a hypotenuse.

Whos the funniest disney princess?

raPUNzel *sits there laughing to self* ...so lonely..

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Pose Jokes More Pose Jokes

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?

Decom-pose.

What do you call a self-referential question posing as a joke setup?

Not funny. Except in that you know, "heh, meta" kinda way. Heh, meta.

Samsung Jokes More Samsung Jokes

What is Samsung's next Note series phone after Note 7?

Samsung Not Explode

What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

Dave Mirra Jokes More Dave Mirra Jokes

Why did Dave Mirra cross the road?

To go to the Gun Store!!

What do Dave Mirra and The Offspring have in common?

No Self Esteem!

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What is about 6 in long, has a head, girls love to blow it, and is in a guys pants?

a dollar bill you dirty minded people!! LMFAO

Why did you make women so beautiful?

God:"So you would love her." Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb " God:"So she would love you."

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic?

A seizure salad.

Vice President Jokes More Vice President Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year?

He's Biden his time.

Why is the vice president always so self-obsessed?

Because he lives at the navel observatory