Crucify Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

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What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

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Gone fission

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How did the Catholic Priest finish the marathon?

He was second to Nun.

What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store.

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Who was the first carpenter ever?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

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What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

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Terrible OC Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!

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Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything?

The mythbusters and ghostbusters.

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What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

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What happens when a soviet and a german have a child?

I don't know but he can conquer poland really fast.

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What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

What did Judas say after capturing Jesus?

Nailed it.