Crucify Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

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What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

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Why don't the Germans care about the word, 'nichts'?

It means nothing to them.

What do you mean you were really drunk?

I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.

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How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.

What drove the British mystery fan insane?

He lost his Marples.

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What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

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What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ

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What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

What's the difference between Bono and Jesus?

Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

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Why is Jesus bad at hockey?

He always gets nailed to the boards.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...