Crucify Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

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What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

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Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb None, Lutherans don't change.

What do catholic body builders lift?

Their guilt.

Jesus Christ Jokes More Jesus Christ Jokes

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ?

Crossfit.

Resurrect Jokes More Resurrect Jokes

Why did jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

Buddha Jokes More Buddha Jokes

What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy?

Make me one with everything."

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk?

OC) An utter disappointment

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6