Oc Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's a redditors worst fear?

Whats reddits favorite tv show?

The OC.

What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters?

It could be R and the C, but they definitely aren't OC.

How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants?

Two dam bad! (OC!)

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward?

OC A receeding Herr line.

How do you get into a Native American restaurant?

OC You make a reservation

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Which type of juice has the most mood swings?

Caprice Sun. OC

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

What do you call an Irishman who can't hold his liquor?

OC A quadriplegic.

How many redditors it takes to change a lightbulb?

OC It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this.

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love easter, baby." (OC)

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

How do you keep your dog young for longer?

Terrible OC Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

OC It was her sole comfort.

What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue?

OC) Brats!

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

What is the Kingsman policy on workplace relationships?

OC) Brogues before Hos

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

How many Zionists does it take to change a light bulb?

OC Just one. And if you disagree with me, you're an anti-Semite.

What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast?

OC I think I'll go on a diet!

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk?

OC) An utter disappointment

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch?

OC) A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years.

How did the urologist ruin his Christmas?

OC He looked inside Santa's sack.

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?

Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)

How do you know this is OC?

Its not on the front page

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom?

OC By process of elimination.

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

oc Because he cantaloupe.

What literary genre is Frozen?

Bildungsnowman. (OC)

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

How do you tell if you're a real gangster?

Take a blud test OC

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

Why is Karl Marx credited in so many movies?

OC) Because he wrote the Rom-Communist Manifesto.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

You might also enjoy:

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

gtOnly if you go aks your mother.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa do to dragons?

He "sleighs" them.

What did the racist ask Santa for?

A white Christmas.

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What's the difference between extremist and /r/thedonald?

At least one group can grow a beard.

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why are all German cats dead?

They have nein lives.

What do Germans call their own EasyMac?

Mein Kraft

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

Why did italy cross the road?

To switch sides

R Jokes More R Jokes

What shape is your table?

A: Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC