How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

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Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why does a Belgian take a stone and a flashlight to bed?

The stone to throw the lights out, the flashlight to check if the lights are really out

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

Why did Bill Gates get sick?

Because he left the Windows open.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

How do you call a cow with no legs?

You don't, because cows don't have phones.

10 Second Jokes More 10 Second Jokes

What's the worst thing about running 100 meters in less than 10 seconds?

Being black.

What's the difference between YouTube and Redtube?

My YouTube experience lasts longer than 10 seconds.

Self Jokes More Self Jokes

Whos the funniest disney princess?

raPUNzel *sits there laughing to self* ...so lonely..

How did the cavemen in the far east protect them selves?

They Rocked their doors.

Samsung Jokes More Samsung Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

What do you call a security guard who works at Samsung?

a Guardian of the Galaxy

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you call a dark or melancholy verse of text?

Poe-etry

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

Message Jokes More Message Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.