Selfie Jokes

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

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Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

What's it called when an isis member takes a selfie?

photo bombing

What do you call an egotistical anorexic?

A selfie stick.

What do selfies make me want to do?

Shoot myself

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror?

Hallooooo me!

Which came first. . . social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

Where are the humans?

We left them" AL: Why "They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"

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What do you call a fish that takes a selfie?

Selfish

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture

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Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs?

Two chickens and a goat.

Why did the chicken cross OP's mother?

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's red and orange and looks good on hipsters?

Fire.

What did A and B look for at the beach?

A "C" gull!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How did Brandon Lee's wife get pregnant?

The prop guy said he was shooting blanks!

What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What does every "Tickle Me Elmo" get before they leave the factory?

Two test tickles

Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle?

A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'

Self Jokes More Self Jokes

Whos the funniest disney princess?

raPUNzel *sits there laughing to self* ...so lonely..

What'd the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved.... I'll show my self out

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater?

This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road?

Because they wanted to be taken to the other side.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

How do you know that God isn't a woman?

Because I'm not a sandwich.