I Phone Jokes

What did Nokia's executives say when the iPhone launched?

We're Finnished."

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128

What my iPhone and Steve Jobs have in common?

They are both dead...

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

What did Thin Lizzie do with his iPhone?

Jailbreak

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why are the new iPhones so skinny?

To match their hipster owners' jeans.

What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

What does /r/jokes and the iPhone vs FBI case have?

Both just got hacked

How best to save the iPhone from FBI?

Crack it before they hack it.

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

What's going to be thinner than the IPhone 8?

Apples ideas.

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone?

Because she's dead.

What's 6" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants??

My iPhone 6.

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

What's the iPhone's favorite football team?

The Chargers.

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

Does anyone have a charger I could use "

Why did John Snow get an iPhone?

For the watch.

What do the iPhone 5 and Viagra have in common?

They're both $700 for an extra inch!

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a bitten apple?

An Iphone. What is bigger than an Iphone -A brick. What is smaller than an Ipad -An Ipad Mini.

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common?

They both made the news for not being straight.

How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?

They both give you tightness in the pants. I'll see myself out...

Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...?

He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?

They both let me stick it in only one place.

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?

My iPhone 6

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

What's your cell phone?

iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

Why should you always bring an iPhone to Mos Eisley Cantina?

Because droids can't get service.

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Android Jokes More Android Jokes

What do you call a cross dressed robot?

Android-gynous

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

Ebt Jokes More Ebt Jokes

How do you stop a 6'4" 300lb black kid from charging?

You take away his EBT card.

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

Disguise Jokes More Disguise Jokes

What is Green and Oblong?

A well disguised orange!

What do you call a plane on a secret mission?

In disguise.

I Pad Jokes More I Pad Jokes

Why was the iPad sad?

Someone took a bite out of its Apple.

How cheap are iPads now?

More importantly, how expensive are menus

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why couldn't the Duke of Esterhazy find his music composer?

Because he was Haydn.

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Where was the pirate when he was hit in the crotch?

Menard's!

What do you call a pirates thong?

A whispering eye patch.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

The eggrolled

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Pug?

A pugilist!

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.