What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

How do you take a Mexican family portrait?

Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What if the missing plane is still up there?

What " Did you check the sky "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What's that hangin' off ye?

The pirate responds, "arrr! I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

How are you doing?

and you respond 'I'm doing ok. Getting better each day' & they stab you for answering

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What is ISIS's favorite type of text?

Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading