Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

What's best about hiring an immigrant midget?

You pay them under the table )

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in a thimble?

You take the "I" out of "thimble" and the "F" out of "way."

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.