Why is everyone smiling at me today?

checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

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Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook?

With his EyePhone

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

How do you know you're flying over Poland?

A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!