What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

This is not a drill!"

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

Kindergarten Jokes More Kindergarten Jokes

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What animal runs around happily with 5 legs?

A pit bull in a kindergarten

Doughnut Jokes More Doughnut Jokes

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bend over?

Doughnuts.