How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

How do you prepare corn like Sean Connery?

Shuck it long, and shuck it hard.

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Cocaine.

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

How's the elevator business?

It has it's ups and downs.

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.