Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

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How is credit like cocaine?

Everyone just needs 1 more line.

What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent?

A:With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

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What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality?

He just nose. All credit to my BFF

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.

What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What do you call someone who sneezes doing cocaine?

A snowblower

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

Why did Johnny Cash have the Cocaine Blues?

He ran out of cocaine.

Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug?

White powder!

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

Where do you hide cocaine in orphanage?

Right under the children's noses

What do you call a midget that does cocaine?

A low blow

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

What is the climax to a telephone receptionist who is on cocaine ?

A second line

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Cocaine.

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window

What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

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What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

What is the difference between an 8 year old fine wine and a bad wine?

One does their chores while complaining, the other doesn't do them at all.

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What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Cocaine Addict Jokes More Cocaine Addict Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer lol

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What did the humanistic psychologist say at Freud's funeral?

He died at such a Jung age.

What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Why do medicine boxes always have a little bit of cotton in them?

To remeber the black man of what he did before he dealt drugs.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What is the most essential part of any joke?

The way that the punchline of the joke is delivered.

Why do gingers love driving Kias?

It's the only way they can own a soul.