How did my doctor know I have minor IBS?

I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What are the best funny fake names you know?

I submit - Craven Moorehead

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

How do you ask someone if they're Vegan?

You don't need to, they'll tell you

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city?

He was running out of patients.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.

Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?

A: Because she didn't know which one came first!

Essay Jokes More Essay Jokes

Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

She was told to do an essay in school.

What do you call a little Mexican?

A paragraph. Because he's not quite an essay.

Smart Guy Jokes More Smart Guy Jokes

How did my doctor know I have minor IBS?

I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.

What do you call a smart guy in US?

A tourist.