Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why don't sea-gulls fly over bays?

Because then they would be bay-gulls.

What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A: A baseball team

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Why did Mr. T reject Marxism?

Because Marx said "You have nothing to lose but your chains."

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What's the Primary Directive in a nunnery (convent) ?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten ...

Why couldn't the candle get any sleep?

Because there's no rest for the wicked.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why should you never shout at a pirate?

Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)

Where does a mathematician go when he gets hurt?

L'Hospital.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

It's more fun to break wind

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.