What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

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Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off?

Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.

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What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

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Don-key xote

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They needed more downs.

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Icy dead people

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What's a pirate's favorite move in chess?

Check, matey.

Why don't Episcopalians play chess?

They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen