What is long, hard and full of sperm ?

The sock under my bed.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Sperm Jokes More Sperm Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.