The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)
A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!
Because they have no daddy issues.
Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.
She was wearing mittens.
Seen but not heard
Cos iv never heard of an airplane reverse into a mountain... ill help myself out...
They have bad mammaries.
Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).
He claims 47% of the U.S. as dependents.
A marajuannabe.
The sock under my bed.
Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..
1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.
A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.
Because then it would be a foot
My newt.
