What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

Ownership Jokes More Ownership Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Newt Jokes More Newt Jokes

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why do you call it Tiny?

Because it's my newt."