Point Jokes

How do you call it when an egg is on point?

Egg zactly!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the different between a knife and a feminist?

A knife has a point

Whats the difference between a baby and a feminist?

At some point in its life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Why did Hillary cross the road?

What difference, at this point, does it make?

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines?

Because they had a point

Why do black people like to "whip" when dancing?

Because for one they aren't on the receiving end! Yes I know i am being racist, so dont point it out

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

What's the advantage of being black in Africa vs black in America?

Nobody can point at your shoes and say "What are thoooooooooose?!"

Why couldn't Helen Keller vote?

She was a woman! And it wasn't until 1920 when the 19th Amendment was ratified. At this point she was 40 years old and could vote.

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

What did the deaf guy say to the blind guy?

I can't hear you, but I can see your point

Why does nobody talk to circles?

Because there is no point!

How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.

Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?

To throw the Roadrunner off.

What's the point of going to somebodys funeral?

It's not like they are coming to yours.

What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement?

an erection that points north.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the blind kid fail geometry?

He didnt see the point.

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

How many points do you get if you hit a golfer?

Fore.

Why buy an invisible knife?

I don't see the point

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point.

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

Why did the guy not draw a circle?

Because there was no point.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?

because they cant find the point.

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

When is a dog most impolite?

When he points.

What is long and yellow and always points north?

A magnetic banana.

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

What's the difference between feminists and a pencil?

A pencil has a point.

Why won't a witch wear a flat cap?

Because there's no point in it.

What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United ?

A triangle has three points

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

What's yellow and always points to the north?

A magnetic banana.

Why don't witches wear a flat cap?

There's no point to it

Why did the witch lose her way?

Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Why should you not argue with a decimal?

Because decimals always have a point.

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What's the point?

You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make Don't answer that.

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

What is the point of owning a fish?

They are just furniture with the ability to die.

How many redditors does it take to point out a repost?

All of them.

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

Why don't you have kids?

points to dead cactus*

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

Why did the women cross the road?

Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen !!!

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

Who run da world?

points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before ...squirrels

Why are Republicans so easy to point out?

They're usually the elephant in the room

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

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Liquor Jokes More Liquor Jokes

How does a French woman hold her liquor?

By the ears.

What do you call an Irishman who can't hold his liquor?

OC A quadriplegic.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

What do ghosts drink for Halloween?

BOOOOZE!

3rd Wave Feminist Jokes More 3rd Wave Feminist Jokes

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

Infidel Jokes More Infidel Jokes

What is the Arabic word for Priest?

Infidel.

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

Argue Jokes More Argue Jokes

Who is this "one"?

And why is he always arguing with people?

What do you call 2 crackers arguing?

White noise.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

do NOT respond with "I know, right !"

What happened!?

The American responds, "Ei ffel".

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for?

Fo Drizzle!

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?