Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

What happened when a heart robs a bank?

It gets put under cardiac arrest.

Heart Attack Jokes More Heart Attack Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What do you call a nurse with flat knees?

The "head" nurse.

What is a nurse in the maternity ward's favorite kind of food?

Delivery.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why are blondes hurt by people's words?

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Where does a mathematician go when he gets hurt?

L'Hospital.

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

What do you call it when a sewer collapses on itself?

Sewercide

Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

Cause the building collapsed, duh.