What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What happens if a line doesn't get enough Vitamin C?

It gets curvy.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

Heart Attack Jokes More Heart Attack Jokes

Why didn't the American get the burger?

because the heart attack got him first.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...