What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

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When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

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Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!

Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleavies!

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How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin