What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Previous Random Joke Next
Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS?

They always take things the wrong way.

What is one thing Harry Houdini can't escape from?

Stomach punches

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What does a depressed girl do when she needs to get a lot of work done?

She takes Sadderall.

Why are ghosts always dehydrated?

They have a lot of boos but no water

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What are we waiting for?

the doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

Why are you so excited?

the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl?

Her resume.

How am I not qualified?

Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo "It's a cat actually"