What is Santas motto?

What's the difference between Santa and a pimp ?

Santa has just 3 Ho's...

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

How much should I trim off the back?

Me: Leave it long enough for him to wrap around his fist twice.

Package Jokes More Package Jokes

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble?

Because it was a wrapped scallion.

Chimney Jokes More Chimney Jokes

Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!