What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

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How do you tell a boy tree from a girl tree?

Boy trees have woodpeckers.

How do you know when someone is a single mother?

Don't worry! They will tell you!

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How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

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What was 2016?

The best joke I've ever heard!

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

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What kind of dog do IT people prefer?

A Dobie

What kind of injury results from having an omega-3 bottle thrown at your head?

A super-fish-oil wound

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What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb