What's mostly red and has 2 legs?

Half of a cat.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?

and

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

2 Leg Jokes More 2 Leg Jokes

What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

What has 2 legs but can not walk?

A cripple.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What is the capital of the United States?

Half of what it was last week

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off