What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

because they were a rip off

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What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

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What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What did the turkey say about the television program from the 1950s?

There's a little bit too much grayvy.

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What is the best way to speak to a ghoul?

A: From a long ways away.

What is the best way to lose money?

A: Lend it to Greece.

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How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

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What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.