What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus?

I don't know but I'm sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton.

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How many ways are there to please a guy?

Three way.

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

What do you call an elite team of crime solving tree surgeons?

Special branch.

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

I ( ) can't ( ) understand ( ) your accent ( ).

What's the best part about child molestation jokes?

You don't understand it until you're older!

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

What is the definition of "making love"?

Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What's does America and programming have in common?

When you fix one problem, 38 more problems pop up.

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant?

Wishful thinking. Obviously