What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What's a Michigander?

A: An Ohioan who can read. Q: What's an Ohioan? A: A Kentuckian who can count. Q: What's a Kentuckian? A: A West Virginian with a branching family tree. Q: And who the hell are you to be making all these rude judgments? A: Trauma counselor for tour guides.

How do you know the devil is white?

Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.

Attic Jokes More Attic Jokes

What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.