What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?

Going in to ask for a coat hanger

This joke may have profanity.
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Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

How did Pedro fix his car?

With Espana.

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What do you ask from Santa Claus this year?

Oh, just 50 dollars, like always.

What happened when the Malaysian asked the Russian out on a date?

He got shot down.

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How do seals keep their coats so smooth?

They use a sea lion.

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Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai.

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What's the worst part about being a railroad conductor?

The training.

What's the worst part about swim-up bars?

The watery stools

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What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?

Jail-birds !

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

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How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

Abortion Clinic Jokes More Abortion Clinic Jokes