What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice?

Know your roll!"

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why do potheads only steal from other potheads?

Otherwise there's nothing worth toking.

Whats the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One but don't expect results.

What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.