Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats blue and pretty on top, and brown and kind of a bummer in the bottom?

The Mediterranean Sea.

Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

Why did the chicken attend the seance?

To get to the other side.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing you can call a black person?

Hint: starts with an N and ends with an R Neighbor

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

Honor Jokes More Honor Jokes

Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving?

The Redskins

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Guest Jokes More Guest Jokes

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.