When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

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Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?

You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why did the baby drop its rattle?

It got hit by a truck

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

College Jokes More College Jokes

What was the buffalo's last words to his teenager as he sent him off to college?

Bison

Why didn't the sun go to college?

It already had 10 thousand degrees.

Luck Jokes More Luck Jokes

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place