Luck Jokes

When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

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What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?

A: I'm at wick's end.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

Who's there ! Charles ! Charles who ?

Charles your luck on the lottery !

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

What do you call a stoner that complains about luck?

A Hearthstoner

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

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Algaebra Jokes More Algaebra Jokes

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school?

Algaebra...

Witch Jokes More Witch Jokes

What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around?

BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM

How do you tell two witches apart?

You can't! You don't know which witch is which!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What do you call a woman who marries an old ugly and poor man?

A: Stupid!

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

Why do mermaids wear bras?

To cover up their Ariel-as.

What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids?

Jack The Kipper.

Lifetime Jokes More Lifetime Jokes

What's worse than getting 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror?

Getting a lifetime of bad luck from breaking a condom.

How many times are you going to lick my nose in your lifetime?

Dog:

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why don't Brazilians wear condoms?

Because they all pull out.

What do condoms prevent?

Minivans.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

Leprechaun Jokes More Leprechaun Jokes

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leprechaun?

The Easter Blarney!