Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the girl sit on her watch?

She wanted to be on time.

What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

dinosore

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What type of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

What would u do if u won the lotto?

10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

Thyme Jokes More Thyme Jokes

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.