Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do Canadian cops not need to wear body cameras?

Because Tim Hortons already has cameras!

What do you need to split a photon?

A lightsabre

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

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What is the difference between a baby and a feminist?

The baby grows up and learns to stop crying.

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

John Boehner Jokes More John Boehner Jokes

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.