Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

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Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

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Why don't Canadians wear tank tops?

They don't have the right to bare arms

How do you make a woman drive in a circle?

Take away her rights.

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What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

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We saw that same joke two days ago

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How have you got that body?

I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."

What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

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Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.